My Blog

Facilitation and Tai Chi

A chance meeting with a friend in Nov ‘08 led me to an opportunity to do some sharing on what I’ve been doing for the past year. Being open and receptive to facilitation, he invited me to conduct a 1 day facilitative training workshop for his fellow mates in his community.

I thought about it for over a week and decided to let the participants do a short exercise of Tai Chi as an opener. When asked about what the team has learnt, the participants responded with, “Fluid, Co-ordination, etc…”. I reflected on the experience and drew many similarities between Tai Chi and the skills of facilitation. Here are a few of them.

One, the root of the two skill sets is derived from “Ease”. Facilitate came from the Latin word “Facillis”, which means ‘make easier’.  My experience with practicing Tai Chi Chuan tells me that the execution of the moves is to be completed using energy derived from the core muscles. When facilitation is well executed, the result is one where the group feels that they had cleared the obstacles of working together with ease and that they did it all by themselves. When Tai Chi Chuan is well executed, the master uses the ease of tapping the power of his opponent to defeat him.

Two, both art forms are fluid and they flow with nature. A master facilitator reads the situation as it develops and makes adjustments to the process agilely to adapt to the changing nature of the discourse found in facilitated session. The Tai Chi master transits seamlessly and effortless between moves. Both masters are equipped with a big inventory of “moves” and ability to improvise to extract the necessary response from those they interact with.

Three, coordination is a must for both. Facilitation is planned in such a way that the atmosphere generated by the set-up of the venue, encompassing nature of the facilitation methodology used, and expanding capability of the equipment deployed are coordinated to deliver the desired outcome. Tai Chi Chuan involves a lot of hand and leg movements that can be coordinated to deliver that killer strike at a moment of notice.

Lastly, both skills seek balance. Facilitation, in totality, involves two general processes - divergence and convergence. These processes provide the participants the space to hear the viewpoints from others before arriving at a consensus on a particular course of action. One flows into the other. Tai Chi has two interrelated parts - “Yin” and “Yang”. The moves, in general, are stable; the left-hand movement is balanced with the right leg movement and the right hand movement follows after the left leg movement. All moves are executed with balance in mind.

In summary, when a facilitated session is well executed, the group is at ease in handling issues together. The session is smooth, seamlessly coordinated and balanced.

The first meeting of DMG Toastmasters’(TM) Meeting saw many gifts for the fellow people who turned up on Fri.

The first gift was the sharing of the 2 beatiful and meaningful speeches from visiting TM members in Tower A. There was a story of what we can learn from the geese. 3 lessons shared were: Flying in formation saves the geese energy as drag is reduced, honks save lives and the support spirit where in the event of 1 geese falling sick, 2 geese from the formation will be together with it till it recover or dies. A great demonstration of Team Excellence here. The second story was about a few types of women when it comes to dating. Variety,Directive and Good natured types are a general few and there were tips shared on how to handle them differently.

The second gift was the gift of good tidings. The club celebrated CNY in advance with a loi hei and great conversations and connections arose from the break.

The 3rd gift was the tabel topic session where we saw 8 carefully thought throught topics were created. We heard about the bull run, “save as it’s not the time to spend”$ and an exciting bali experience with rafting. And they were created while thinking on the feet.

The last gift was the valuable feedback the evaluators gave in terms of looking at areas of excellence, areas where examination could be done on and seeking balance of arguements were raised.

It closed on a high note and members look forward to the next meeting on 20 Feb where we will be holding an joint meeting with Zhenghua CC Toastmasters’ Club at their club.

Another exciting meeting to look forward to!!!

27^th FNS Forum saw a highly participative group spending a wonderful morning together learning and sharing on “Enhancing your image.” The facilitator was Jessica See, a professional Image Consultant and Coach from Image International. The morning kick started with an evaluation exercise. People expressed what they feel they are and fellow participants shared their perception of others through the use of colors, drawings and laughter. The group discussed the key ingredients on a positive visual identity using a useful ‘ABCDE’ (Assets, Body Shape, Colour, Dress Style, Environment). The group was also treated to a methodology of assessing their own body shape and learnt how to dress right for their own body shape. Color matching was the next highly interactive topic where questions on the choice of color with skin under tones, etc. Another exercise allowed participants to be aware of their own personal style. A discussion on how to dress right led to many stories sharing by facilitators or trainers on what worked for them personally. The forum ended on a high where Jessica shared 5 ways on making a Brilliant First Impression. ‘Look Good, Feel Good’ is about how a workshop facilitator could be mindful of in creating a positive conducive environment for sessions to take place through personal role modeling in projecting positive first impression and positive energy! What a brilliant way to start 2009!

Today I had a team mate who felt down and wanted to pull out of the committee. And through there I learnt something. My experience of this man is someone who has success and just going through a rough patch. While sharing my experience, I realised it’s the concept of winning that we all fail to see in our daily life.

After all, we had been flying in life before we can compare how “lousy” we may be doing now. Is really winning at the moment important or how we grow in life important?

In my leadership program , I realised results are just results. Today, I came to realised whenever we are not getting the results, we forgot how we overcame mountains over mountains in life to get to the peaks. It’s like a grown up adult who gets frustrated not winning a race and forgetting how difficult his first step of walking as a baby was. A baby has a difference of how we adults react. The baby keeps going till walking is achieved. We are all successful per se.

I passed my exams today with average results and I was delighted. Why, because a win is a win. Yes, I’m cash-strapped, juggling with many committments, do argue with family on and off about my future plans, not attached,a team that has members with their own situations in life,etc. It’s life and it’s okay to feel upset about things as we are humans with a heart. It doesn’t mean you have to remain solemn even though you see a small win. It’s great to win and celebrate the moment then work on the rest of the things to bring us where we are.

So keep celebrating wins and remember we are all successful people in our own rights,pals.

Love,

HM

Facilitation has been a key part of my life since 2005 and I took on the challenge to be a IAF Certified Professional Facilitator in 2007. It has been a journey filled with many learnings and reflections. When I first started, I remembered how I worried I was on being able to acquire the 6 Core competencies that a facilitator have and was lamenting on why should I twig towards competencies that is required for certification. Last year I got deferred that I expected as deep in my heart, I knew I was not ready to uphold the values that a Facilitator should have. I could sense how hard the assessors’ team in 07 were going at just to facilitate a win for me and well, results are what we think it is.

Incidentally, after being deferred in august ‘07, I wondered whether I got the makings of a extraordinary facilitator that uses facilitation to enable the world to be a peaceful world through fruitful discussion or I should just give it all up. Nevertheless, I continued facilitating and during the sharing in a FNS forum in May on life after deferment, I decided that I’m going for it again this year. And I got it!!!!

The key learning throughout the year was that I can still be the loving facilitator I want to be and yes, the 6 competencies will show up during my sessions. It is never difficult when we give a 100%. My new found friends during the assessment day shared stories of acquiring tons of books on facilitation, re challenging themselves again after deferment and having a huge amount of fear while going through the assessment process. I saw people who are courageous, giving their all and impressed me just because of who they are.

The assessment team this year gave me the experience of my life with warmth,love and gentleness. The friends who stood by me were supportive, encouraging and always around me to spur me on. The deferment happened so that I could grow.

And well, here I am, a Certified Professional Facilitator. It’s really a great win and acknowledgement of my friends who cared enough to bring me forward and myself who is bloody insistent(lol) of the values I hold onto.

I am looking forward to make the world a better place through facilitation with love!!!!

Hock Ming

Your humble Orang-Utan in Sarwak!!!

I just have this feeling to write this after another few testing months with my continued experiments with love. While things did not work out again, I saw myself learning that it’s important for me to love myself and chase my dreams regardless of what happens. I used to give 100% intense love for a woman and when that happens, all other things are dropped. Recently, another tense experience with a woman saw me undergoing immense stress to squeeze time for everything and her. She felt it , I felt it. In the end, we let go. And I tell you, it’s was a sign of relief.

It’s wonderful to find the feeling of love again. Yet, I know passionate,intense and just kept giving up everything for love don’t make sense. I was once confused over lust and love and this woman tested me so much as she was so appealing. We had so much quarrels for being so alike.

These few months saw me experiencing another woman that I loved in a different way. We were together spurring each other and going for wins every other day. I saw her grit,strength and inner steel through her eyes. We saw each other flying flying and flying. Regardless of the results, we kept going for ourselves. And my sensing is that we kept going also because of each other’s presence. We were lands apart, yet, we were buddies with the aid of msn. I always felt love is best tested when people are far apart and I did had a few long distance courtship before.

Now, I see things in a different light. This woman showed me how we can communicate without words and how we can be side-by-side in victory. I loved to take a back seat and give my all to allow the gal of my dreams to win at the cost of my own victory. Now I see love is the greatest when I win because of me and just because her presence. And I saw her win because of her and me. We were open, kick each other’s ass when needed, pat on the shoulder when required and interesting we all won big in the past 3 months.

I see her as a successful businesswoman who I can continue to love so much to celebrate all her wins in life and cry together when there are losses. We know now it’s all about chasing our dreams through creating results in our studies and handling all the rest of our life’s challenge. I know what I got to do now and it’s a choice to love and fly high together. When one is tired, the other will be spurring her/him on or even supporting to piggy back to allow the other a break.

Love is when both choose to win together and maybe we will get together on one day. And I now chose allow time speak our love story.  Thoughts of being far apart comes in mind, what if she finds love in seattle, whatever I find another woman here, different nationality is a big challenge, mountains are high with our studies on our mind,etc. So what???

I just want her to win as much as I want to win myself. And I know she wants the same for me.And all is possible because of our love and admiration.

Thank you for being in a great presence in my life,dear.

Let’s go for wins every day, Princess of Steel!!!

For those who still do not know, I am the incoming President of a interest group called DMG Toastmasters Club.

It started from a group in a basement in YMCA many moons again who wanted to devote time practicing communication skills.

From there, it has evolved into a culture in 92 countries and 165 clubs in S’pore to date. In the normal sense, people join because they aspire to improve their ability in things like persuade and convince others,improve self confidence,think quickly and clearly under pressure,conquer fear of talking,etc.

Ya, once you join this club, you can work towards them. A thought came to me while working on getting more members in my club. Toastmasters process is something like making Kaya Toast.

First thing to have is the roti!!! Which is you!!!

Next, we get the receipe right on how to go about doing it. Which is the toastmasters communicator manual with the guides and the mentors attached to you.

Then, we start the process of toasting it, like how we start doing our process of executing the speech.

And finally with the butter and kaya, the toast is complete. With evaluation that comes with sugar on your good points and "Buay Gu You"(In english,it means applying butter) on your areas to work on,the toast just gets better and better each time you do. And you know what, like kaya toast, the membership fees are just a mere $100+ a year with exciting kopi and tea "talkable" articles that comes monthly in the form of the exclusive Toastmasters magazine. So why wait, call me at 97876659 or email me at dino_fuze@yahoo.com to apply for the Sweet Toast of Life!!!!!

I will do great injustice for not publishing this speech I created while standing there in my recent toastmasters’ meeting. The speech is called "Find a reason to care" after re-correcting some errors I made.

General Washington was well-known for winning the fight against the British in the 18th Century. However, there were times the army were struggling.

In 19 Dec 1777, a few thousand men that were ill-equipped and low supplies were facing a prospect of a bitter winter,and a dark road ahead at Valley Forge. They could have chose to go home and forget about the war for freedom. However,they didn’t. Washington sent a former Prussian officer, Baron, to lead the group.

They bore the brunt of winter without warm clothes and they didn’t just survive. They took the time to become better soldiers and in July 1878, the Washington army began sweeping the British army away from there and won the war for freedom later down the road.

(details from The 17 indisputable laws of teamwork)

17 May 1830, Gandhi saw the actions for his stand completed. To start off "protesting" against the ridiculous salt laws the British imposed, he started marching towards the sea, before dipping in the water many weeks after. He then picked up the salt swept in by the sea and has broken the law of not buying expensive salt from the government. That triggered fellow believers to march towards the salt stockade. By being brave not to resist when the law enforcers hit them,saw the European committee morally defeated and showed the world India is ready for independence.

Now audience, you must be wondering why I’m sharing all this. Well, for your awareness, there are 854 million people about this moment who are going hungry while we are eating nice food. Today’s cities are filled with up to 100 million street children and UN revealed in 2006, that more than 200 hundred million children worldwide are sexually abused and almost 300 hundred million children have witnessed domestic violence.

Tsunamis,earthquakes, natural disasters had also seen the world’s sorrows pouring out on prime time news every day.

Sad world,isn’t it?

For one thing, we could actually do something about it. Small actions like what I do to go round collecting unsold bread to send to nursing homes makes a difference.

911 saw the largest support group come together to give support to the loved ones left behind and what does it takes??

A reason to care.

I end here by sharing about Mother Teresa. In 1996, she was operating 517 missionaries across more than 100 hundred countries. And you know what? She couldn’t have done it on her own. It was the people who found the same reason to care as she did. And they are all humans like us. So find a reason to care and reach out to the world to make a difference for yourself.

Love,

HM

The first 2 hours of doing community service has humbled me. Wearing my usual singlet,shorts and slippers is the perfect attire for attracting mosquitos, as comparing to wearing that to do some farming at Blk 96 of Aljunied Crescent.

I saw the amount of vegetables they grew in this garden and definely a lot effort was spent maintaining it. The main farmer head of the garden shared with me that the key reason of growing vegetables is to ensure the elderly of the home get to eat original home grown vegetables that are free from pesticides.

For caring enough, the daily effort is indeed commerable. The next thing he shared was that as a volunteer, it’s not just about doing mudane labor daily. It’s all about how to make the garden better off each time you are there. It’s about doing research then doing recommendations to improve or understand how certain plants to need be grown.

So many learing opportunities created in the short 2 hrs at GEHA. It’s a good start to community service committment and look forward to make the farm a better one in days to come.

HM

Today, I got the most powerful feedback to date. Parents both calling me to ask me go home. The recent 3 days had been packed with work, community work and own goal chasing work….blah…blah..blah…However, the responses from dad and mum gave me the opportunity to explore of how I got the results of dad slamming the door full swing when I was telling him,"What’s wrong with taking time off for a meeting on community serivce, then rushing back to work at 10pm?" over the phone at 2130hrs.

I understand that being committed to all the things I’m chasing have to include taking care of myself and spending time with family even it’s just sitting there with them w/o talking. So,I went home after re-arranging my work to take a good rest now.

Yes,I am really thankful that they care enough to make noise and thankful to get a reminder so early that there are 101 ways to do things without harming myself,my family and my loved ones.

Love is caring enough to be frank.