My Blog

Just came back from my trip to the IAF Conference and also the Certified Pro Facilitator (CPF) assessment workshop. This whole week had been another wonderful experience. To start with, the group of 4 who went through the assessment together, bonded and worked together to look through the individual’s plan of facilitating the assessed workshop. Even though I didn’t manage to pass the test, I guess the bonding and experience was so meaningful. I know I have my shortcomings as a faciltiator and my assessors who were trying so hard to pass me, had a hard time to find ways to aid me. It touched me that the four of us supported each other throughout, my CPF friend who came to console me after results were out and my assessors who tried to downplay the bad news(come on, who wants to be the doctor to break the bad news to you).

End of the day, they couldn’t do much as I fumbled at the interviews.Thus, I didn’t really feel anything when they annouced my deferment. However, pangs of sadness do spring up now and then (I’m human after all) while trying to be strong as not to affect my other 3 friends’ mood.

I have a belief in life that tripping and falling are part and parcel that comes and so accepting the truth as a flawed human being isn’t that difficult. This halfyear, I had the honor to be kicked out of NTU due to the new system in place( Only failed 2 modules though) and being the first guy being deferred at the assessment.(time wasn’t ripe yet).Quite disheartening facts of life,yet without failure, success won’t be that sweet when you get it. (Of course, having my gf’s support throughout this journey made it less hard to bear)

The next few days in KL was better as I met new and old friends and learn more tricks of the trade. The spring feeling is always good as it sparks growth and renewal. I learned more about change, doing enviromental scanning, client definitations and strategies to tackle them, Strength Deployment Indicator and doing more graphics drawing.

The people there added color as they all handsome and beatiful in their own way. It was so diverse.I met people from Korea, US, Taiwan, Malaysia, China, Qatar, Canada,etc. I experienced multi culture last year and going through the process once again humbled me. Even connecting up with my fellow counterparts from singapore was  a refreshing experience. They related back to me with warmth, openess and variety as they shared through talking and sharing during these 3 days. I even had a friend buying a lovely personalised bookmark for me when she was shopping.( So touched by this small act of kindness).The world is just so big,yet so humane.

As I continue to walk this journey, I will look forward to be humbled again and again to remind myself that I’m just another being who is living in the same world as the rest of the people…..

As the day of my assessment date for CPF draws nearer, the more the fear grows in me. Being a typical Singaporean, the fear of losing is always there. Scared of this,scared of that..so many things that could happen.

The habit I always have about big issues is that I go around telling people about the up-coming thing. It is a reverse tactic that had worked well for so many things in my life. It will be so embarassing for me to fail,as I actually want face too.(Surprised??)

I really hope to succeed but at the same time, the evasion to do big things is always there. Always wished to be just a idler in life, but I guess it’s my own committment to make the rest of my friends or my bosses to be proud of me that kept me going for so long.

It was lucky that I was faced with conflict on the last facilitation session as I now know I can handle it well (Even though I was still shivering inside after the session) and made the client wanting to engage me back for the follow-up session in Dec. It also gave me the confidence that I can be worthy of the title " Certified Professional Facililtator" even if I didn’t managed to pass the assessment on the 23rd.

Wait for my good news,friends. I hope not to disappoint you all and myself(Trying to egg myself on now..lol).

The always worrying guy,

HM